I say ‘fuck’ a lot. And ‘damn’.

Do not misunderstand me. The amount of satisfaction you can receive from a properly placed ‘fuck’ is disproportionate to how small an action it is. But profanity starts to reek of immaturity when done often.

Do not use profanity in every day conversation so that it becomes stale. The profane is a fun genre of word to play with. But every time it comes up in conversation, whoever is listening should chuckle in agreement rather than grimace. They should not want to be elsewhere after you utter a subtle ‘shit’. At it’s best, after you use profanity there should be a moment of silence and then the feeling that no other word could possibly have filled that space in time and felt as right.

Be the Bond of the Profane. Class reigns supreme in the realm of the uncouth. If you say ‘fuck’ in the middle of conversation, try to picture a man in a tuxedo, cigarette in the corner of his mouth, with a sly grin and a martini saying the same ‘fuck’. If it doesn’t seem inappropriate coming from him then congratulations: you’ve done it right.


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